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Saturday, March 6, 2021

 THE SONGWRITERS, THE THEOLOGIAN, THE TOP PRIESTS AND "EL DIABLO"


The primates of the little island of Cyprus are causing a furore again. This time around it's all about the song entry for the Eurovision Song Contest.

Here's my two cents...once they decide that a certain type of song fits the competition which, by itself is only pure entertainment like the Rio carnival, I won't bat an eyelid. It is what it is, entertainment. Scantily clad young ladies, outrageous costumes etc. So, eat your pizzas and have a laugh. It's entertainment, it's NOT art. What I find hard to swallow is the State Radio/TV station commissioning "world class" songwriters (like the press release states) to write the song. World Class songwriters? WTF! Did I miss a meeting with Tom Waits and Nick Cave? Or Bob Dylan? Or Roger Waters? FFS these songwriters are the bottom of the food chain when it comes to songwriting. I can name 10 computer software programs off the top of my head that produce these common chord progressions. And if you should write a lyric in english you should speak the language fluently...

Now, I don't really care about the "meaning" of the song. One says this the other says that. The song has NO meaning. It is silly, stupid, something a twelve year old would write. "Oh, it's a woman who's in a bad situation with a terrible guy and she's trying to break away"...and then what? Eat tacos and tamales with hot sauce. And do a "hair flip-flip" to catch the attention...so please, go easy on the "world class" songwriters mention cause Leonard Cohens bones are spinning in his grave like a whirling dervish.

It's just entertainment. Stripping music down to its bare essentials which is mathematics. Now, once you replace the AI with some IQ and add some soul and heart, then you have art. When it moves the heart and stimulates the brain, then it becomes art.

Then, the talking heads on TV move in. I was watching this theologian who didn't actually bring the song down BUT said that this presents a danger to our traditions. The Greek Orthodox traditions. Which of course the church maintains by submerging infants, BEFORE they can even walk, talk or think into a bathtub  and thus, label them Orthodox Christians. That's how this tradition is maintained. I fail to see the the difference between Orthodoxy and Fundamental Christianity, the Evangelicals, the Methodists although I must admit that some Mormon girls are mysteriously sexy...

In a further comment/attempt to reveal his utter ignorance, the theologian added: "Satanists may use this song for their rituals" (!!!) Yeah, and I woke up this morning and smelled the coffee and it was stale like the middle ages. So I squeezed a lime in my beer and enjoyed it (you should try lime in beer, I highly recommend it!) WTF! You should be so lucky mr Theologian, you should be blissful in your ignorance. Let me tell you, once the satanists discard Deicide, Impaled Nazarene, Carpathian Forest, Watain and the rest for their rituals and use "El Diablo" that will be the end of satanism. You should be so lucky! Satanists will congregate to the sound of "El Diablo", drink Grenadine and behead Barbie dolls...

And, finally, the church top dogs...pardon me, priests, called a meeting (Holy Synod I believe it's called) to denounce the song and ask for it to be withdrawn. They drove from every diocese to congregate for "El Diablo"...well, actually they did not drive themselves. They have chauffeurs. They announced their verdict by which they were asking for the withdrawal of the song and then it was lunchtime and they feasted on pheasant and surf n' turf. Dessert followed afterwards but the toppest priest refrained from having any as he has health problems. Funny thing though...if the church does not wish for the primates to praise the devil why the hell they invent him in the first place? 

Oh well, I guess I'll never know...but do you recall the song that starts with the lyric : "Please allow me to introduce myself..."

I can't help it I'm soooooooo f****n' tempted...




Sunday, January 10, 2021

 THE BEST MUSIC OF 2020


ALBUM OF THE YEAR : JONATHAN HULTEN "Chants from Another Place"


Tribulation guitarist turns to ethereal folky singer/songwriter mode and lays down emotive and compelling meditations about the cycle of life.

A modern day Nick Drake, the beauty overflows...





                                                    

CRIPPLED BLACK PHOENIX : "Ellengaest"

Mesmerising post rock and melancholic gloom, this may be their best album so far, focused, with dynamic sensibilities that thrill and guest vocalists that elevate the compositions and musicianship. CBP used to "lose" themselves in the course of a song, in the past (sometimes). Not anymore...







IGORRR : "Spirituality and Distortion"

Gautier Serre is a mad genius! Preposterously experimental but concise this is the most "out there" metal album of the year.









NICK CAVE : "Idiot Prayer"

Cave and a piano alone in a large music hall, his songs reverberate more harrowing and quintessentially human. Quintessential and human together may be an oxymoron...
This is an artist's artist...







DRIVE BY TRUCKERS : "The Unravelling"

Patterson Hood sounds angry on this most political of records. A gem of a southern rock album and timely too...









ENVY : 'The Fallen Crimson"

A reinvigorated Envy (2.0) are back to their intense best led by the brilliant vocalist Tetsu. Here's to another 25 years...









THE OCEAN : "Phanerozoic II : Mesozoic/Cenozoic"

Experimental post-metal, imaginative, challenging, ambitious. Stupendous musicianship and smart concepts. This band has been together for 20 years and is still evolving its earth shattering music.








BOB DYLAN : "Rough and Rowdy Ways"

Dylan dropped this bleak and majestic masterpiece in a time of plague and quarantine-the perfect soundtrack. Tangible lyrics that dig deep into the american psyche, he remains the world's most treasured and relevant artist. Nobel prize for Literature? It should've been the Peace prize.            
"I've already outlived my life by far" he sings in "Mother of Muses". No you haven't, Bob. For us, you haven't...





GARCIA PEOPLES : "Nightcap at Wits' End"

Psychedelic cosmic jam band with a dual guitar threat. Since becoming a six-piece they've expanded their musical palette but still retain a charming mystique about them...








SNOWY WHITE and the WHITE FLAMES : "Something On Me"

For many years the "extra" guitar for Pink Floyd and solo Gilmour and Waters, this is his most consistent outing. His stop-start solo licks are as graceful as ever. His most focused songwriting. Elegant blues...








UNLEASH THE ARCHERS : "Abyss"

The progress of this Canadian band has been steadily meteoric from album to album. Unparalleled confidence, better songwriting, unafraid to move outside their comfort zone. Anthemic headbanging songs.








BLACKBIRD & CROW : "Ailm"

Atmospheric arrangements and goth vocals grace this unsettling dark folk 2nd album of theirs.









PYOGENESIS : "A Silent Soul Screams Loud"

The final album of their steampunk trilogy. Pyogenesis has been such fun to follow, jumping from genre to genre, integrity intact. Unafraid to experiment (unlike most in metal...)








LOW CUT CONNIE : "Private Lives"

Adam Weiner could easily rub shoulders with 70s/80s era Springsteen/Petty/Seger. Cool songwriter and breathtaking frontman.









FISH : "Weltschmerz"

His final album is something to behold. As a lyricist, he has never been replaced in Marillion. Heartfelt and eloquent, his last goodbye will resonate forever...








SPECTRAL LORE & MARE COGNITUM : "Wanderers: Astrology of              
                                                                                                    the Nine"

Almost 2 hours of atmospheric black excursions from the Greek Spectral Lore and the American Mare Cognitum. A split album that sees the two acts collaborating on the two final songs. Smart concept and good production values, this is a trip...






DREAM SYNDICATE : "The Universe Inside"

4 albums in since Steve Wynn reunited the Syndicate and this album kicks off with the 20 minute bold and exploratory jam "The Revelator"
and for this song alone, it's worth the price. Wonderful "head" music...








YAWNING MAN : "Live at Giant Rock"

The originators of the desert rock scene offer a stoner/desert/heavy psych record which is cinematic, trippy, dreamy and, of course, full of heavy jamscapes.








SPECIAL MENTION

Our local boys are World Class. It is still not easy to maintain a band or record an album, on the island.
As veterans go they have learned the ropes that make it possible for them to achieve. But achieve they do despite the odds, making wonderful albums that stand shoulder to shoulder with the mega production behemoths of the world. Yes, our local boys are World Class, so...WINTER'S VERGE and ARRAYAN PATH, take a bow...