Who Am I? And How The Hell Did I Crop Up In Cyprus?

This is actually a multiple choice quiz.

A) God created Adam & Eve (Book of Genesis)
B) Darwin's Theory of Evolution (Origin of the Species)
C) "We are the Cosmic Farts of the Universe" (Yet to be written book. Probable title : "'Shroom Logic")
D) "...Aliens came and f****d the monkey" ("No Missing Link" DAN BERN-LP "50 Eggs")

Now let's analyse each notion...
A) God created us to Work. Eat. Work. Drink.Work. Sleep. Work. F**k.Work. Eat. Work. Work. Work.
     Then, in His Infinite Wisdom, He dropped some seeds of the marijuana plant (we are not certain if   
      this was accidental). Now everybody knows that work and pot just don't mix. Should the milkman
      discover pot then he automatically turns to yougurtman. Cause by the time he delivers the milk.....
      The mailman delivers 2010 Xmas cards in 2012 (if he is fast enough). My brain
      is suddenly flooded with images of public servants in Cyprus...nah, maybe they're just lazy.
B) We evolved from the monkey. Maybe it's true cause some people didn't evolve enough. Why didn't
      all monkeys evolve? I know, I know, it was done by natural selection. But i'd like the Races to        
      be explained more thoroughly. If, for the sake of the argument, we assume that the Japanese evolved
      from the chimpanzee, is it safe to assume that Cypriots evolved from the baboon? (no offense to
      baboons...)
C) And when our stink dies, so do we...a bit farfetched.
D) Now here's an interesting notion and not just because of the pornography of it...just because I don't
      really believe the Human Race really belongs to this planet. Ever since Man (not Woman) stood up
      he tried to harness the powers of Nature. Tried to defeat Nature. Tried to impose himself on Nature.
      It is in the genes of Man to do so. Woman is another cup of tea altogether. She is like nature. Her
      body works in cycles just like nature. ("Sexual Personae"-CAMILLE PAGLIA).
     All in vain, of course. Consider this Justin Sullivan lyric:

      "Well we talk about saving the world now, Eddie
        It's our vanity gone mad
        She'll survive us all perfectly well
        When we're all buried and dead
        Clever monkeys with technology
        Barely out of the caves and the trees
        It's all vanity, all vanity, we try to have control
        It's all vanity, all vanity, cause chaos rules it all..."

        also, very tempted to add the rather poetic line from the same tune :

       "But the mirror never lies
         It's just these foolish eyes..." ("Vanity" NEW MODEL ARMY-LP "Impurity")

       So, what if my great-great-great-great(etc)grandfather is a little green man who Kama Sutraed
       a capuchin...or a macaque from Thailand. If i get too emotional I could fantasize that they fell in
       love but I refrain from emotionalism these days...

       "We don't belong here
         This planet was a terrarium
         Seven billion bastards
         Screaming for our Daddy"     ("No Missing Link" DAN BERN-LP "50 Eggs")


       -Hey Mister. We're Christians. We don't like what you're saying...
       -Then...forgive me...       (BILL HICKS)